Fur and Fire, Blood and Silver

Well, it's offical.

Nexu has vanished off the face of the earth.

It's been three weeks since the boys decided that their so-called Mom wasn't at Keily's, and nearly two months since last contact from cat-girl. The moon-sickness has nearly stopped, which is good, and Loz's been keeping in contact. He's actually an okay guy, if you overlook the nerviness, the fact that he beat up Tifa and almost kicked my best buddy's ass and that he's a Sephiroth clone.

This is his last e-mail:

FROM: <dualhound2@hotmail.co.uk>
TO: <turkeyfox669@yahoo.net>
SUBJECT: update

Still no sign of the cat. Yazoo's beside himself. You probably wouldn't notice but he's been as mean as Kadaj some days. We met another were, though, a japanese fox who won't tell us anything 'cept that he might know who might know where she is. Even when Yazoo had VN in his ear and Kadaj nealy slit his throat, he just grinned. I don't like him.

Kadaj called big brother. He wasn't very happy with us. Nexu's not in england, becuase he's been looking for us since we left over there. I think he thought we'd killed her or something.

I'll tell you what happens next when I can.

Not much info there, as you can see. I'll keep you guys updated. If you've got any intel of your own on the blind kitty's whereabout, could you keep us posted here?

Thanks.

-Reno

The following is an overheard coversation between She_Nexu and Kadaj, on the 5th of april 2007, in the back garden of Keily Shinra.

Kadaj: What're you doing out here? Not like you can see anything.

Nexu: I'm listening for borogroves and practicing being dead. Now buzz off, brat, before I scratch you too.

Kadaj: *laughs* Just try it. It that why the Turk got sick?

N: *growls* Obviously. It's weird, you know. I was so sure it hadn't stuck...and if not, I always figured him for a lynx.

K: Maybe you aren't as good as you think you are, kitty.

N: *chokes on laughter* Tell me something I don't know.

K: Yazoo thinks that chocobos are the definition of evil.

N:...you're right, I didn't know that. He's not around, is he?

K: I thought you could tell.

N: Yeah, and you can tell too, lying on your side with your nose in the grass. I'm pretty good, but I haven't got a super-nose like Zexy-Zexion's.

K: Who?

N: One of the Organization members. Emo guy with blue hair hanging over his face? Sure you met him at Tabby's...

K: Hmph, I don't like the Nobodies. They don't feel right, and the one that could pass for the Turk's brother keeps giving us unsettling looks.

N: Ah, Axel's a perv. Just ignore him. (pause) And make sure he's not around when you go for a shower.

A noncommital noise from Kadaj, and the sounds of rustling. A longer silence.

N: I never want my sight back. Not while you guys are around.

K: Mmm? Why?

N: So I can pretend. I told you guys about Luka, right?

K: Only about a hundred times!

N: Did I ever tell you what he looked like? He looked a lot like Loz, really. If you can picture your brother with rusty brown hair and amber eyes, that's close enough. He's got Luka's damn grin, too. It helps, not seeing him all the time. We really don't need the fragments of another heart lying around here, especially not one as twisted as mine.

K: Why don't you just leave, then?

N: I've still got a few strings to pull over this side, so travel's no probelm. But that'd be running, wouldn't it? Bobia don't run, we fight. Running's for rabbits and weaklings. I won't run, I'll just stay here and help as best as I can. And if I'm usless, I can go back. Simple as.

End report.

Yeah, Reno again. I know that it's been pretty much a whole week since the full moon, but this the first time I've been in any fit state to type, according to Rude at least. One little scratch and the guy goes all nursemaid on me. Anyway, I guess you wanna know what happened, right?

Nexu had invited us to go with her outside so she could find her way back and not run into a tree or something if she went moon-struck.  Loz and Kadaj said no - the brat sneered and said he had better things to do (in other words, follow Keily around like a lost puppy, like's he been doing almost since we got here,) and I think Loz might be scared of the dark. When I pointed out that he's probably the scariest thing <i>in</i> the dark, he just shrugged. Yazoo came along without explaination. I tell you, the guy still creeps me out, and whatever had Nexu's whiskers in a twist doesn't help that. 

A shot to the head would cure 'em of any Sephiroth probelms, no big. Yeah, then Nexu's claws and teeth would cure ME of any probelms. No thanks, whatever Rufus says. He actually finds this whole mess amusing....

Anyway, I'm getting off track. The full moon. 

Truth is, I don't know whether Nexu did go lunatic or not, because as soon as that big fat white disk cleared the treeline...man, I've never felt anything like that in my whole life. Not that I can remember, at least. 

Pain. Incredible, twisting agony, like someone was dislocating all my joints and breaking my bones at once and trying to put them back in the wrong order without breaking my skin, which felt like the same someone was shoving bunches of needles through it. My vision was on the frizz, coz it looked like the night was way clearer than I knew it could be. 

And as much as I hate to admit it, I think I passed out.  The next thing I can remember is waking up in bed to the now familiar noise of Kadaj throwing one of his fits. Wait, bed? 

Rude told me that I was out of it for nearly two days, and I haven't seen Nexu since. I think she's blaming herself. It was her fault for scratching me, I guess, but it was also my fault for grabbing her like that.

Guess I'll just live with it. I'm fine for now.

(Yes, I have ripped the title off Keily's blog, but if you ken the reason, then I don't have to explain, yeah?)

How I love voice-recognition software. Seriously, I think it's the best thing I've ever stolen been given. I'll still have to get someone to copy-paste this here, but it's a hell of a lot better than chattering like a dopey parrot at them while they try to type as fast as they can - and in Loz's case, not break the keyboard in the process.

I have to admit I was laughing pretty hard after Rufus (I still can't figure out their relation. Cousins? Siblings? If it's father-daughter I will call the PCP then kill myself) and Keily's stunt yesterday, but I sobered up when I realised how badly the boys took it. Loz, obviously, was crying, mostly because everyone had been getting on so well beforehand and now it was possibly screwed, and Yazoo said nothing, but I could smell that he was pissed off. 

Kadaj, as you know, threw one of his fits, then sort of went  '_; when Keily suddenly went all matenal on him - to the point of tucking him into bed - yeah, Keils, the boy needs mothering, but he's still a flicking teenager, you know? - *shakes head* nevermind. I'll never fully understand americans, no offence. Totally different planet. 

Speaking of different Planets, Yazoo's been acting weird ever since I got blinded. He keeps shadowing me, then acting totally condescending when I snarled at him. "I don't need a blood-bathed bleeding carer! Go look after your spazzy brothers already!"

This was yesterday, in the aftermath of Keily's impromtu concert. I heard the creak of leather, and felt him sit down next to me on the sofa, so close that he smelled almost as strongly of gunpowder as Xigbar - although it was always easy to discern who was who becuase the Nobody never has the fresh-earth-mint-menthol-old-heat undercurrent that all three brothers have got; it was only when I caught a whiff of it from Reno that realised in must be the scent of mako -  and he shifted his weight, as though waiting for me to finish. "You're blind, Nexu."

"Yeah, and you have long hair. I'm almost better off without my blessed bleeding sight, you dumbass clone." I felt him flinch uncharecteristally. I growled in exasperastion, running my hands through my hair - it's always been just a bit shorter than Kadaj's - lynx genes won't allow for long hair; unlike horse ones, Kenya, - but I can remember, vaguely, being human and having hair about Yazoo's length. I wondered how a bloke could stand to look after it. I sighed, back to the subject in hand. "Look, if you wanted I could tell you exactly where everyone is in the house right now, without even standing up."

Actually, that was a lie. His smell was distracting me enough, and the Nobodies only ever smelled of their elements - in other words, if Demyx was standing in a rainstorm or Larxene in a powerplant, I'd be too confused to spot them. But Keily was in the nearest bedroom to the stairs, Snape and Reno were in the study, Kadaj was with Keily, and Loz was happily sparring with Rude somewhere outside. I had the feeling Yazoo was giving me the classic 'Yeah-right-I-bet-you-could' look, and I stuck my tougue out in what I judged to be his general direction. He remained silent, then, "Nexu?"

I leaned back onto the sofa, purposefully squashing his arm. "What?"

"What's it like?" 

I felt myself stiffen. "What the hell do you mean by that? What's what like? Being Bobia, blindness, losing your better half, wishing you were dead in the totally-non-emo serious way, being so screwed-"

"Shut up." Too cold, he didn't sound like Yazoo at all, but a certain someone who Tabby and I had already agreed to go to any lengths to avoid tangling into this mess. My voice trailed off in a squeak. The air was thick with smell of mako. 

I tentivately reached out and touched fine silky strands of hair, soft as feathers. "Y-Yazoo?" 

Why, oh why did my voice break like that? I had no time to curse myself, though, as the figure next to me moved suddenly, making me switch defensively, leaping back onto the arm of the couch. I snarled at it, blindly, suddenly hating my condition. My whiskers were trembling in every direction and I all I could think of was Danger danger danger SEPHIROTH danger danger...

My claws dug further into the furniture as my tufted ears picked up slow movement from in front of me, and I growled at whatever it was. In retrospect, it's amazing no-one heard me, or perhaps they did and I didn't hear or scent them. 

I flinched back as something brushed my whiskers, then a leather-smelling something touched my face. I growled again, in warning. You don't pat a lynx like a kitty and expect to get away with all your limbs. "Nexu, it's me."

I almost fell off the couch in relief. I leapt down onto the floor, and put my front paws on his knees - the every fact that he let me do that clued me in that he was him; if the one-winged angel had come to pay I'd be a messy fur rug on the floor by now. He scratched me behind the ears, and I half-snarled at him again at the contact. He chuckled, and kept rubbing.  After a minute or so, something weird happened, and it took me a second to register. 

For the first time since Luka was killed, I had begun to purr.

Viva la USA!

Okay, Reno here. Yeah, Reno of the Turks. I know, I know! I'm explainin' already...

Apparently, after Nexu missed the ship to Babylon Palace, she threw a fit and took off on Loz's bike. Of course, the boys had no choice but to follow her - Kadaj probably threw a similiar one, but they didn't tell me that bit.

Anyway, believe or not, she got about three-quarters of the way there when the thing runs outta petrol, of all things. This is where I came in.

Rufus had told me and Rude to come here to look for another Shinra - here? This dump? I'd wanted to say, but you just don't say stuff like that to the boss - a girl, he said. Involved with something big. Great. That's real specific. Anyway, we were in the chopper and we'd stopped for supplies.

There was a probelm, though. The woman at the counter at the diner had SS - you know, so-called Sunnydale Syndrome? Meaning that even if I did exist in her line of sight, I couldn't and therefore didn't. Dumb cow.

I was seriously tempted to zap her there and then, or at least give her a good whack and wake her up, when a voice from behind me said, "Axel? What the hell are you doing out here?"

I turned and looked down, meeting eyes the tawny-gold of a cat's, which widened, then narrowed as she laughed, chin-length brown hair falling into her face. "Reno, right? 'course. Figures."

Seeing my probelm, she literally threw money at the woman, who glared at her, not seeing the weird eyes, of course. I'm used to seeing mako-enhanced eyes - hell, even mine've got a bit of it - but I'd never seen yellow eyes. Not on a human. After pausing to grab the coffee and donuts, she dragged me outside, knocking into Rude. "Sorry. What are you guys doing here?"

"How do you know us?" Rude rumbled, and I gave him a grateful look. She bit her lip - obviously whatever the real reason was she was pretty reluctant to say, but she opened her mouth - only to be cut off by screaming from the other side of the building; furious shrieks that I realised, with lots of dread, sounded seriously familiar.

"NEXU! HOW DARE YOU!! I'M GONNA SKIN YOU, YOU DAMN ANIMAL, GONNA TURN YOU INTO A BELT, GONNA-" There was a bunch of stuff after that that made my face go hot, never mind anyone else's. Nexu grinned brightly. "They told me about you!"

I saw three silver heads coming around the corner, and heard a buzz. I'd turned on my EMP without realising, and the long-haired one I'd fought - and very nearly got my ass handed to me by - saw me and Rude and began to chuckle. "Loz, look who we have here."

Loz had picked Nexu up by the back of her top, and was shaking her like a kitten. "Don't steal my bike. That's not nice."

She grinned crazily as she swung back and forth. "I'm not nice. You're not nice. No-one's nice here."

He dropped her, and the smallest one - Kadaj, I guessed, though I'd never met him face-to-face - flew at her, sword drawn. For the first time, she looked afraid, scrambling backward. "There's-no-point-in-poking-me-with-that-it's-not-silver-you-dope."

"How do you know?" But he lowered it anyway, and she smirked, then pointed at us. "Say hi, and no fighting."

I opened my mouth to say we didn't need that sort of crap, as Kadaj did the same, but she leapt up suddenly, waving for quiet. Her head was tilted to one side, and she took a few steps towards the 'copter, listening. "Can you guys hear...ticking?"

"Oh crap," was all I managed, before the world exploded.
--

I came to slowly. There was debris on me, but Turks are made of tough stuff - not much more than a few cuts and bruises, at worst, and Rude was already up and looking through the rubble for suvivors when I dug my way out of the wreckage, replacement shades already in place. The silver-haired brats were the same - Kadaj and Loz were yelling again, though.

My ears were ringing so badly it took a couple of minutes to figure out who they were calling for, and it didn't make any sense, because they were infamous for not caring about anyone else.

After a couple of minutes of searching, Yazoo found her. An thin-sounding yowl came from under the bits of wall she'd been nearest to when the chopper exploded, and the long-haired clone dug her out wordlessly, his brothers leaping over wreckage to help. I stared. "That's a big animal."

"She's a were-lynx." I was treated to one of Yazoo's 'yes, and how stupid are you?' looks. Last time I'd seen that look he'd called me a peon.

Kadaj dragged her out, holding her like an expensive rug. "Yeah, and she's in her fur, that's a bad sign. Loz, get her."

They laid her out on one of the clearer stretches of tarmac, ignoring the chaos around them. Rude came over from were he'd been helping civilians, and a quick check confimed she wasn't dead. Amazingly, she wasn't even bleeding badly.

A minute or two later, she stirred, and a small meow escaped her as she tried to stand up. Automatically - probably years of helping Rufus Shinra the semi-invalid - I went to help her, grabbing her shoulder. Stupid, stupid move. Before I could reverse, a large pawful of knife-sharp claws slashed my arm, and I leapt back with a yelp.

She started worse, and seemed to focus, form blurring until she sat on the tarmac human-shaped. She stared at the ground, maybe still in shock. "Who did I hit?"

"Nexu, you okay?" said Loz. She snarled, "Who did I hit?!"

"Me." I waved my uninjured arm. She nodded, still staring at the ground, and made a noise that might have been a laugh. "Yeah, only you'd be that dumb."

She waved at me before I could protest. "Come here. It's too dark for even me to see..."

"It's bright daylight." Yazoo said quietly. She smirked wryly. "Well then, that would make me blind. How fun."

I moved closer to her, and she grabbed my arm in a grip that seemed too strong for a little chick like her, sniffing the wound like a dog - no, a cat. Her eyes were blank, living light still there but muted. "I don't think I've passed anything on, but you guys better stick with us for a month or so to make sure."

So you see the probelm. I'd only known Nexu for an hour- maybe less - and she'd already made me a part of her life. Besides, I can't leave her with the brothers Gin - don't think they'd know how to help a blind person if she bit them.

Checking the mail, checking comments, checking messages, checking, checking, checking…

“Who’s Riku?” I nearly leapt out of my seat, as Kadaj spoke close to my ear. He’d obviously been reading over my shoulder. Damn brat. When did he start moving so quietly?

“No-one you need to know about,” I snapped, then instantly regretted it as I was roughly shoved out of the swivel chair and the silver-haired teen took over the computer. “Gimme that.”

“Say please, say thankyou, say I’m sorry-please-don’t-hurt-me.” I muttered angrily, picking myself up and perching on the side of the desk so I could at least see the screen. He logged into DeviantArt – how he found out my password is another total mystery – typed ‘riku’ into the search engine, and drew up the first picture he found.

Oh…bugger. It was a pencil sketch, one of those ridiculously photo-perfect ones, of Riku in his darkness garb, holding his keyblade and looking directly out of the frame, clothes and hair flying in an unseen wind. The bitch, whoever she was, would have to make him look as much as one of the brothers gin as possible, wouldn’t she? That little smirk she’d given him didn’t help one bit – it was identical to the one on Kadaj’s face at the instant, and the resemblance was…unnerving.

He started to laugh. “Looks like we’ve got yet another brother, after all.”

“He’s not your brother, you dumbass. You don’t even belong in the same world.” I was furious, and it took all my willpower not to lynx out there and then to tear him a new one.

“Is there a problem?” Yazoo was standing by the door, distantly amused as ever. I made a small noise between a growl and a groan, walked to him, and put my forehead on his shoulder. He smelled like burnt sugar and fireworks. “Kill me. Now. I can’t deal with you people a moment longer.”

He went absolutely still, then said, “Velvet Nightmare’s upstairs.”

I removed my head without actually lifting it, and shuffled away, mumbling, “Maybe Loz’ll do me in with Dual Hound…”

Behind me, I heard Kadaj babbling excitedly about isn’t-it-great-we’ve-got-a-little-brother-now-I-wonder-how-long-it’ll-take-for-us-to-get-there-do-you-think-he’ll-know-where-mother-is…I suddenly wished I could find that duct tape I’d lost last week, just so I could get the brat to shut the hell up.

It looked like a road-trip was in order. Ah well, I needed to go to Tabby’s to drop off those Triffids anyway.

Okay, a lot has happened in the past few days, y'know?

Firstly, the Triffids almost got splattered by the godawful winds we've been having here, and we had to shift them into the garden shed so Marls wouldn't have my head on a stick for it. Secondly, in the wreakage that had been our garden in the aftermath...

"Kadaj's found something." Yazoo informed me over breakfast that morning. He, as usual, ate fastitiously, picking neatly at his bacon, while Loz wolfed down museli with practised manners and I guzzled milk while my kippers cooked. The youngest of the party had already been outside, attacking the trees viciously by using Souba as a kind of bloodthisty machete.

I looked up at the eldest's remark. "Mmm?"

He nodded at the window, through which a kind of gold-ish light shone through, totally at odds with the thin grey morning light you usually get at this time of year. I could see Kadaj's thin face, hollow eyes lit up in excitement, and he was holding...something. It could have been a ball of materia, and from the looks on all three on their faces they figured it was*, but it looked- it didn't look like that, not quite like the cricket-ball-sized glowballs I had seen in the film. Maybe you could get gold materia, but I didn't know.

Suddenly, my brain froze, remembering two things at once - one, a passage from the most recent entry on Me, Myself and Vader, Kenya Starflight's blog and the source of all this mess -

"Heart shards... I have never heard of such a thing. Not being familiar with Kingdom Hearts... To think that pieces of someone's heart could be inside members of the Resistance... "

She might not be familiar with the KH-verse, but I was. The second thing- and the image seemed to burn itself over what my eyes were seeing - was the scene in Kingdom Hearts, near the end, or the start of KHII, when the hearts are raining down from the sky at night, and Kairi's holding one in her hands.

It suddenly stuck me that that was exactl how Kadaj looked now. There are times when you can see the normal kid he might have been, and this was one of them - instead of a fae demon in vaguely human form, he was just a sixteen-year-old boy, looking at the ball of light and smiling.

...I had to report this.


*In which case Cloud would have my pelt for a rug if he found out.

Okay, now technically the boys have been here for a few weeks, but it feels like forever.

I’m forcibly reminded of way back when the Sentient Felines for Earth settled on my property, and this is pretty much the same, only minus the furballs and spats over the last tin of tuna.

Kadaj spent the first few days waging war on the five cats that we have – two spade queens, called lupin and tiger, and three toms – Erik and Loki being the younger two (if you’re thinking of the phantom of the opera and the norse god of chaos you’ve got it exactly right), and Major being the old bastard who just showed up one day and won’t leave.

At first, the cats pretty much tried to ignore the silver brat, but then he discovered the outraged screeches that they made when he pulled their tails, and thought it was pretty hilarious. Of course, pretty quickly it dissolved into a war when he got scratched – and it resulted in Souba being confiscated once more and another of the sort of bratty temper-tantrums that made both Draco Malfoy and Dudley Dursley look like complete angels.

I was actually privy to the incident that stopped the proverbial bloodshed.

About a week into their stay here, Yazoo and Loz were training outside - in other words, Yazoo was using Velvet Nightmare to massacre the local wildlife and Loz was looking after the Triffids – large, semi-sentient carnivorous plants that Marluxia from Organization XIII had asked for at the Christmas party last year, and had now gotten to the point where they would only let certain people near them without trying to eat them; for some reason, the middle clone seemed to be among these few.

Anyway, they were outside and I was in the kitchen, and as far as I knew, Kadaj was upstairs perfecting his Mighty Sulk of Doom. I’d just finished off scrubbing down the bowls from last night – Loz had offered to help, but I like doing these things on my own – when there came an almighty crash from the bathroom at the top of the stairs.

That wasn’t what worried me. Like I said, Kadaj had no-one to frighten and nothing to kill, and so had a habit of breaking things randomly whenever he felt like it. Lucky for his own blonde emo ass, Cloud had left a credit-card in the duffel-bag with the boys’ weapons – and how he got hold of an earth one, not to mention a UK one, is a mystery to me, so don’t ask.

What worried me was the absolute silence afterwards- a very un-Kadaj-ish thing. I paused, straining my hearing as I rubbed off my wet hands. For a second I thought of calling Yazoo and Loz in, but then realised they’d be hopeless –Loz would burst into yet another round of tears, and Yazoo would either laugh, go beserk, or just stare blankly. I guess it was up to me.

I dropped the towel onto the side, then poked my head out of the kitchen door. “Brat? You up there?”

Nothing. He usually responded with a bunch of profanities when I called him brat. “Kadaj?”

Still nothing. My every sense now on alert, I walked up the stairs, hands switched to paws and claws unsheathed, tufted ears twitching. What if he had done something really stupid this time? Had he knocked himself out? Or put his fist through the mirror, or something? What if he was dying again?

These increasingly hysterical thoughts in mind – coupled by the memory of burning flesh and the old nightmare again – I put my paw/hand on the closed bathroom door…

And heard laughing.

Real laughter, not the crazed, high-pitched giggles I was used to hearing – it was almost eerie in itself. Properly joyful, the type you might hear from any normal 15-16 year-old. “Kadaj?”

I opened the door, and nearly screeched as I got a mouthful of something pink and powdery – later ID’d as one of my mother’s bath-bombs – and Kadaj’s laughter got louder.

The room was a mess. The cabinet usually used for all the towels and bath-supplies and such was overturned – I guess that explained the crash – and fragments of paper fluttered about like snow. Lupin and Loki, both dusted white as ghost-cats, where both sat on the side, amused, as the brat proceeded to throw another bath-bomb,this time at the mirror, then laughed again, grinning like a Cheshire-cat.

I don’t know exactly what happened apart from that, by ever since Loki and Lupin haven’t left his side, and he’s stopped trying to tear tails out left right and centre.

Weird.

I suppose I’ve only got myself to blame.

I mean, I did offer my place as a safe house to the resistance, which is pretty much a welcome mat for all and sundry who happen to land on earth and NOT in the USA. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only British member of it, except for the Potter-verse lot. It sort of pisses me off a little that Malfoy and Snape fled all the way to Keily’s place, rather than just dumping their arses here. Maybe I’m too close, or something…too easy to find…

Anyway, I’m getting off-topic, aren’t I? Yeah, just a bit…

Okay, so it was about three in the afternoon, and I was in the study eating cookies and half-heartedly trying to finish an assignment for art college (it was in the next day) when the noise of big, growling motorbike-engines pulling up on the drive made me look up, thinking that Greebo had dropped in, or maybe one of the ‘pard had something to report. I was totally, completely, utterly 100% wrong.

When I saw the first figure, blonde and spiky-haired dismounting off his bike – huge beasts of machines that made my dad’s old harley look like a child’s tricycle – I had the crazy thought that Sora had somehow grown up and come to visit for an abstract and unknown reason. (Blame my brother – he was the one playing Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories all weekend on his PS2) Then something clicked – possibly the fact that he was now close enough that I could see the silver wolf’s-head on his shoulder-guard – and I got up to open the door for none other than one Cloud always-in-Strife.

“What the-“ I started to ask, but he cut me off, mako-blue eyes cold. “You Nexu?”

“You Cloud Strife?” That could be answer enough for him, since he was being impolite. Honestly, I was a bit taken aback. He was usually better than this, unless something big was going down…oh. “What’s wrong?”

A small smile now, as though to show he appreciated that I got it. He should smile more often. “Need you to keep an eye on some kids for me, just while I sort a few things out.”

“We’re not kids!”

I blanched, knowing that voice the same way I knew Cloud’s. A different, lazier tone said mildly, before I could comment, “Kadaj, you promised you’d behave.”

“Yeah, you promised…” came an upset rejoinder, as the three came into view, and walked in past my gaping expression.

Kadaj shrieked with unsuppressed rage and kicked over the hall-table, sending letters and documents flying, which only made Loz sob louder. Yazoo turned to me and offered a small smile – the kind of which could either be cruel or amused, but wasn’t nice.

I stared at them, then at Cloud, who stood on the doorstep, unrepentant. The blonde swordsman shoved a large duffel bag into my arms, and muttered, “These are their weapons. Don’t let them have them. Sorry.”

Then he was off, roaring down the road. I gaped after him, then turned back inside at the tinkling noise that probably meant Kadaj had broken something I’d have to pay for. Yazoo was still waiting in the hallway, head tilted to one side in a way that meant he’d heard Cloud’s every word.

I sighed, gritted my teeth, and shoved the bag at him. “This is yours, but the second Souba hurts me or mine, or you or Loz use the cats for target practice or something, then I’ll wait ‘til you’re asleep then string you all up by the balls and make you watch second-rate Disney musicals until your pretty green eyes drop out and you’ll wish you had been killed. Do I look like I’m joking?”

That little tirade might have been pretty vulgar but it was worth it to see the silver-haired bishie look something other that vaguely bored and amused. He nodded, ‘pretty green eyes’ wide. I shoved the bag again for emphasis. “Good.”

I marched off down the hallway, still incensed. Screw homework. I needed to destroy something - preferably by breaking it over the silver brat’s head – then I really, really needed a cat-nap.

I've been having nightmares like that ever since Luka died.

I thought that hunting down his killer, Murtagh the turncoat dragon-rider, might give me some kind of closure, and make them go away, but no. I'm not that lucky. Maybe I still blame myself somehow - it's dumb, I know; it was sheer chance that one of the bone-cats happened to be in the area and pulled me out of the firing range - and I know it's probably that stupid thing they seem to have a lot of on LOST. Suvivor's Guilt. That's it.

Anyway, even having Jango along for the ride didn't help, and you can bet your tail that I was dead disappointed that I woke up on Zach's sofa, instead of in Vahalla or Hel or wherever I'm set to go when I do finally kark it. Least I've got a few extra scars to show off, hmm?

There are things you just have to live with, and I guess this lines up as one of them.

Nexu out.

Life was good.

I was at the Terran resistance Christmas party, watching Luke Skywalker come in covered in melting snow and making some smart-assed comment to Saix and Vexen about how I always knew he was wet. Zach started playing bag-pipes up on the stage, and I made a show of screwing up my face and putting my fingers in my ears, but grinning while I was at it.

While I was gurning at Zach, who gestured mock-threateningly at his bag-pipes in response, I felt a warm arm go around my waist and Luka rested his head on mine.

“Having fun?” He murmured, the sound vibrating through my head like his purr.

I laughed and hugged him back. “Been bonding with the boys at all?”

He gave his little lop-sided grin, and glanced over at the five or six miscellaneous people we’d been talking to. A tall guy with a shock of long, spiked, cloud-grey hair mouthed ‘You are so whipped!’ at him, and I mock-growled and stuck out my tongue right back. Luka chuckled. “They’re okay, I guess. But if he keeps looking at you like that, he’ll regret it…”

I followed his glare to a quiet soldier-type sitting in one corner – a member of the SGC?- who looked away just in time. I smirked. “I’m sure he’d be willing to share.”

“He might,” Growled Luka, “But I’m not.”

I grinned and gave him a quick peck on the lips, then moved towards the door. “I’m going out to get a bit of moonlight.” I told him, “You coming, fluffy?”

He wrinkled his nose in embarrassment. “Don’t call me fluffy. Not in front of the guys, please!”

Great, now I’d injured his fragile pride. Xemnas was smirking at us both now and I suddenly had to squash the urge to go head to head with the Nobody, just to see who’d win. Instead, I shrugged. “I’ll be outside if you want me.”

He’ll come around, I told himself as I sat, lynx-formed, on the roof of the lodge, watching with a great deal of amusement as Axel skied down the hill to land face first in a snowbank that promptly turned to water on contact with fire-boy. Then I coughed with laughter as Mara, the were-lynx that had turned me in the first place came wailing down the hill, animal formed, with skis strapped to all four paws and short tail brushed out in alarm. I wonder where she found the booze…

“You left me.” Said someone behind me, in a piteous, hoarse whisper. I turned, ready to apologise to him…then yowled in shock.

There was just the charred, fire-blackened skeleton of a lynx standing behind me, smoking. The only intact things about it were the eyes, grey-gold, full of reproach and blame. The forest around us was burning, and the acrid stink of smoke filled my nose and mouth, making me cough. “Please,” I got out, choking, “I’m sorry, Luka!”

“You left me to die.” Repeated the corpse, flatly, taking a creaking step forward.

I backed away. “I couldn’t – it wasn’t-“

My hind legs lost footing on the roof and screaming, I fell.

I gasped awake on the floor of my bedroom, shaking and mewling like a kitten. I grabbed my blanket – barely noticing I was furred, in half-and-half form – and wrapped myself in it, staring out the window at the black sky. I stayed like that all night, unmoving, too scared to go back to sleep.